Author Archives: Peter Carter

REBEL WITHOUT A CUSS: At that age, the only lawI’d broken was giving crossbar rides I was 11 or 12 years old during the summer between grade seven and eight when I learned how cramped, uncomfortable and terrifying the back seat of a cop car is.   It’s an experience that never leaves you. I’m notContinue reading “Getting picked up by the fuzz hurts.”

UP TO SCRATCH: Ready, Iris, ready. As regular readers (ha-ha) of Pete’s Blog&Grille know, for the past three years, Professor Iris Cat (“Iris”) has been sitting behind a message board in the front window of her house in the southwest corner of Toronto. You read right. Three years. We know this because the signs started about theContinue reading “An update on Iris’ vital signs.”

A ED FOR NUMBERS:  How canyou show your work when it’s in your head? Until about 15 minutes ago, I blamed my big brother Ed for my lousy relationship with math. It’s a sort of weird grudge that I never told him about, so he’ll only learn if he reads this, but I’m here toContinue reading “Why am I so bad at arithmetic? Do the math”

STREET VIEW: Pre-Google I know it sounds a bit nutty but every morning before work, I sit in a wooden rocking chair in our living room for about half an hour.  And just rock.  Monday to Friday. After breakfast.  After I do the cat litter and/or take out the recycles.  After I’ve read all theContinue reading “Where we will teach you how to rock”

Many evenings after supper when I was growing up in Sudbury, if you visited our three-bedroom house where my parents raised 10 kids, there’s a good chance you would have found all the occupants of the house on their knees, in the living room, saying the rosary. Sounds sort of solemn, ritualistic and, well, kindaContinue reading “How my mom taught us to pray (The Extended Pray version)”

MA BIG SOEUR MARIE ET ME: She attended the Frenchside of St. Albert’s school where the fence got licked inboth official tongues.  I belong to a Facebook group called “I grew up in Sudbury.”  I don’t often post to the group and neither do I know what possessed me to do so, but Wednesday, IContinue reading “A cold hard truth: Lots of us can't hold our licker”

Dear Anne Bentley: ARTIST BENTLEY: You never know where the  important lessons are Anne, I live in Toronto, Ontario, with my wife Helena and our 14-old-cat Iris.  I’m writing you this Boxing Day morning not only to wish you and yours a Happy Christmas and all the best for 2021 but also because on the coffee tableContinue reading “A love story. In small pieces”

BESPOKE BIKE ENGINE: Other driversthought we sounded like Harleys, of that I’m sure. Who do you suppose first figured out that if you clothespin a playing card to the rear fork of your bicycle, your ride would sound vaguely motorized?   Wonder if it was the same genius who–a few years older–determined that if you get theContinue reading “Stupid Pete tricks”

WHO SAID: I’d rather have bottles in front of methan frontal lobotomies Correct me if I’m wrong but I think that when I was a kid, a regular-sized empty pop bottle was worth two cents. I’m fairly sure the larger, so-called family-sized bottles got five, but it might have been 10 cents. Those tiny six-ounceContinue reading “Running On Empties”

HUMAN FACTS MACHINE: The Expositor staff Hands up everybody whose mom was a nurse. Now those of you with your hands up, how many of your moms told you the facts of life? Just as I thought.  Nurses might know about where babies come from and what goes where but did they ever share? No-o-o-o-o-o.Continue reading “My mom, the birds, the bees, the books”