Category Archives: Uncategorized

“The road to Hell,” my late mother Huena used to say, “is paved with the stones of good intentions.” In other words, you can’t get to heaven just by thinking good deeds; you actually have to do them. At least I think that’s what she meant. My mom was a fountain of behavioral advice likeContinue reading “This just in from the Road to Hell”

My wife Helena and I are travelling in Europe. We spent four days in Prague and now we’re in Krakow, Poland. GO ABROAD AND MULTIPLY: How else can you learn local currency values?  It’s Tuesday following Pope Francis’ visit to this former Polish capital and although he’s gone back to The Vatican, little armies ofContinue reading “Peter Frances and Pope Francis Vs A Global Currency Crisis”

The other day, I realized that I have a broad assortment of facts and factoids that I turn to on a surprisingly regular basis but for which I have no evidence whatsoever. None.  For some inexplicable reason I heard or read or dreamt up a few things that suited my world view so perfectly I grabbedContinue reading “11 Things I Never Want Snopesed.”

Since university, I’ve had 10 staff jobs. THE HELLYER SAY: After the book came out, he fired us. Five of them,  I quit.  Four I got fired from.  One, I haven’t quite figured out what happened. The weirdest firing, I have to admit, was from my first-ever magazine gig. I had been an editor atContinue reading “4 Job-Losing Tips for Fired Journalists”

This is too weird and rare not to share. In mid-June, my 25-year-old daughter Ria and I toured the now-closed Kingston Penitentiary. Yeah, that Kingston Pen. It’s 178 years old and for many years was home to quite a few household-name inmates. Corrections Canada closed the joint in 2013. (And no, they didn’t lay allContinue reading “The Tour of A Life Time. Or Maybe a Life Sentence.”

Aroma in the Gloamin’ Here’s a thing. It’s very hard to know if you smell bad.    But if you were God at 8:45 this morning and looked down from heaven, you would have seen me standing in a parking lot bending and twisting and waving my arms like one of those inflatable giant creaturesContinue reading “Aroma in the Gloamin'”

My four sisters Charlene, Norma, Mary, and Bertholde are wonderful generous adults, with professional designations and they all lead rich interesting lives. Charlene’s in Little Current, Ontario, and the other three are in Sudbury, where we all grew up. Mary has several university degrees in both official languages. Bertholde runs a successful counselling business. CharleneContinue reading “My Sisters. Oh Brother.”

Counting the dead ones, I have 43 first cousins, 27 aunts and uncles (including spouses), 15 nephews and nieces, five sisters, four brothers, two daughters, one son, a grandchild, and wife. While the vast majority of my relatives are around Ontario, I’ve got family in both Vancouver and Halifax. Our family: There’s at least oneContinue reading “A Badly Kept Secret Formula For Excellent Luck”

The hand-written envelope arrived last Tuesday, in the regular mail, addressed to my wife Helena. Demonic possession was something I could not rule out. It was a smallish envelope, maybe 3×4 in., and up in the top right corner, a Canadian postage stamp. The only other clue hinting at where the letter came from wasContinue reading “Know why they call handwriting cursive? It makes you swear.”

“I’m ready to go, Pete,” my cousin Mayme Millar told me yesterday, just around suppertime. “I’m ready to see Mom and Dad and Grandma and Leona and everybody else.  Mayme on a visit to San Fransisco’s Pier 39: Comments her big sister Nancy:  “My sister is just too good and always has been.  I wishContinue reading “She Coaxes the Blues Out of the Room, Mayme”